The Day I Didnt Have an Abortion :: Personal Narrative Essays

The Day I Didnt Have an Abortion   Have you constantly stopped to ponder on the fragility of liveliness? I had always taken life for grant and never gave much thought to how or when my life might end. Then, in June, I was awakened to the realization of just how unstable the balance of life and death can be.   I was still a young bride. Jim and I had been married for four years but had been unsuccessful in get a family started. It was not a matter of not trying. After having see two miscarriages and an episode of uterine cancer within those four years, my chances of ever be glide slope a mother seemed to be so remote as to seem impossible. My defines had already told me that another pregnancy was out of the question and inserted a loop (a contraceptive device that is permanently placed in the orifice of the uterus) just to make sure that his orders would be heeded. He wanted to thwart any accidents.   Six months passed and my monthly checkups were sho wing that there were no raw(a) growths and no complications. Meanwhile, I was busy getting back into the working earth as a junior accountant for a farm equipment head in our small northern California town. I enjoyed the work and the necktie with my coworkers and our customers helped to keep my mind off my unfulfilled mothering instincts. I found myself mothering my coworkers well-favored advice, lending a listening ear as well as making homemade breads, brownies and cookies for them.   Soon it was time for my seventh month checkup. The doctor went through his routine probing, fluid checks and questioning. All appeared to be in order. However, a few days later, he called to ask that I come to his office. He wouldnt say why, just that we needed to have a little chat. As I placed the phone back in its cradle, I was trembling. This essential mean that the cancer had returned. I felt that I had to pull myself together. If it was coming back, this soon, then my li fe was going to be very short. There were so many things that I had always wanted to see and/or do.